Reality Recap Thursday - PR Finale Part Deux

No, we won't go there quite yet. First we'll examine the drama.

In last week's exciting episode, Laura accused Jeffrey of having outsourced his sewing. Bravo made sure to edit the show in a way that made ol' Tattoo Neck look guilty, what with his seeming reluctance to hand over his receipts, and his relative calm when Laura told him that she spoke to Tim. (As an unrelated aside, Jeffrey's neck reminds me of Geoduck clams. And those clams remind me of...well...penises. Jeff has been a dickhead...sooooooooo...mayhaps not so unrelated after all, eh? Anyway...back to the show.)

The preview for this week's finale finale has Tim Gunn saying "unfortunately," and then we see Jeffrey bury his head into Uli's shoulder, apparently crying. Or maybe Uli wears some intoxicating perfume and Jeff wanted to get a closer sniff?

So what happened? What was unfortunate? Were there actual tears?

In part deux, we see Jeffrey upset that Laura questioned his integrity. "But I never questioned your integrity!" was her response. Then what exactly were you questioning, Laura?

As it turns out, there is a receipt missing, for some bubble shorts (and we dared laugh at Angela!) Jeff was instructed to call the people who had done the work and see if they could provide a receipt. He says, we'll, they're a bit like Sanford and Son, so, errr...um.... 'Splain me this - why would a fashion designer go to a couple of junk dealers for sewing work? It just doesn't seem practical to me....

Anyway. He doesn't find the receipt, but Tim is convinced that Jeff is on the up and up and has indeed done all of his own sewing. Jeff then cries tears of relief on Uli's shoulder, while Laura does her best George Bush impersonation and smirks the whole time. The "unfortunately" came when Tim announced that Jeff was over budget by more than $200. The solution is to lose the wigs he wanted his models to wear on the runway. And, he happened to have a spare pair of leather pants to replace the bubble shorts on the runway. Yay! We still have four qualified participants in Fashion Week! And, to his credit, Jeff didn't hold a grudge against Laura. I've known people to hold grudges against me for much smaller things. Much, much, much smaller things.

Tim calls one last gathering of the designers and is verklempt, as he proclaims the moment "incredibly thrilling." He's such a proud papa! The scene ends with a sappy group hug. Next we see the designers heading off to Bryant Park and a montage of pre-show prep - hair, make-up, last minute fittings, the crowd filing in.

Soon enough, we get to see the runway shows. Heidi, big as a house, clomps down the runway in knee boots to start the show. She introduces the judges in rather shrill tones (must be the hormones, although I'm not sure if they were hers or mine) - Michael Kors (whose tan-in-a-can was much more evenly applied this time), Ninagarcia, and special guest judge Fern Mallis, the executive director of Olympus Fashion Week and VP of IMG fashion.

Jeffrey shows first. He comes onto the runway, jumping like a hyperactive child with a Twinkie, and introduces his family to the audience. (He's a fashion designer, so why does he always look as if he were dressed by a hobo? Just asking.) His collection is inspired by Japanese ghosts and demons (meaning the collection will be pretty scary) and his models wear an assortment of picnic tablecloths, crumpled aluminum foil shirts, leather jeans, and Christmas ribbon candy-striped items. One blue satiny dress with pleats makes the model look pregnant, and a sheer blue and white floral floaty Uli-style number is completely out of place (but completely gorgeous - my favorite piece of the line).

Uli is up next, claiming the contest to be the "best experience of her life." Her parents are in the audience, as is a handsome gentleman who is likely her boyfriend. She sends out a tropical safari-themed collection of her signature flowy patterned dresses, mixed with neutral pieces in shades of silver and chamois. Her bathing suit and cover-up and the blue tie-dye dress are especially stunning. The only real nod to safari is the zebra prints she uses.

Laura waddles out next and makes a pregnancy joke about being big and in the fashion world. Her collection is in neutral shades, predominately black, with lots and lots of feathers - on skirts, on shoulders, in shrugs. Although she didn't say this, I think her collection was inspired by Edgar Allen Poe's work, The Raven.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
Yet I showed no sternum on this dress that I wore,
'Though thy crest and wings be on my shoulders,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Last, and sadly, least, came Michael. He said that his inspiration for "Street Safari" was a woman on the hunt to find out who she is, and it turns out she's sexy and sensual and "rowr." "Yawn" is more like it. There wasn't a lot of coherency in his collection. His first several pieces were all white. He gave up on some of the tacky bling, but that didn't help him much. Then came some patterned clothing, including a green dress that made his model look 8 months pregnant (what's with the maternity clothes? a shout out to Laura?) and some zebra print. Why are all the other members of the animal kingdom so underrepresented? Can we have some love for the giraffe? the wildebeeste? the leopard?

After the runway show, the designers meet up with the judges back at Parsons. Michael Kors thought Jeffrey created a collection that encompassed a woman's whole life - what she might wear to the store, to the beach, to a club, etc. Fern Mallis thought that the zipper dress had "a lot of ideas," but in a good way. His collection was the most innovative, focused, and had exciting variety. I thought it was wack, but what do I know?

Uli, who wanted to show a broader variety of styles, really wowed Ninagarcia and Heidi, who said she would wear each and every piece. I would too, frankly, if I looked like Heidi Klum. But I would mostly just walk around naked. The Kors didn't like her color point of view, but Fern said that the resort market is huge and Miami is a good inspiration.

They agreed that Laura's middle name should be "meticulous" and that her craftsmanship and detail was impressive. Nina wasn't sure if Laura was creative or an innovator, however. Perhaps just a fabulous dressmaker. And I could tell that Michael Kors wasn't too impressed, since he was making any number of disgusted faces during the Laura portion of the runway show.

Michael was momentarily mistaken for Kayne and deemed to have "questionable taste." Fern suggested that his quest for identity was "noble." I liked this woman a lot - she found good to say about every collection, especially after the Kors said something bitchy.

Blah blah blah blah...I'm sure you're tired of my commentary and want to know the answer to the most important question of them all: Who won? Without further ado....

tags: project runway  tv